What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
