Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
