Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The adults are the big ones right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
