so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pants are for mortals
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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