as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's never too late to be topless.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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