I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
operation have a gay friend backfired
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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