Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize