the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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