I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
