i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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