so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
