I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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