The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
