You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You pole danced in your parka.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
