very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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