All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
