question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
