yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My hand turned me down
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize