fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
