I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize