Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
