are you still at the devil's house?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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