yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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