new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
