Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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