wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
