well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
