I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
