There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
