That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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