somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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