haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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