Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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