im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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