Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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