I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
