It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
