the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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