I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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