Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize