yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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