the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize