I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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