I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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