goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
