Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
