If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
