Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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