Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
