Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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