Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
