He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize