He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
