I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
