don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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