i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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