i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
