hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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