The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
