Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
