She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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