he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
