she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
