Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
