Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
