I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
